What is Parental Alienation?

Parental alienation occurs when one parent makes disparaging and hostile remarks about the other parent, in the child’s presence or direct hearing, purposely attempting to distance that parent from the child. It can occur in any family structure and is not unique to divorced couples. Parental alienation is an issue that comes up often in contested custody cases. As set forth in the Massachusetts 2009 Appeals Court decision of Bourgeois v. Bourgeois: "Parental alienation syndrome is ‘a psychological disorder in which a child, usually one of divorce parents, allies itself strongly with one parent and wholly rejects the other parent.’ It is a disorder that encompasses the ‘totality of a child’s behaviors following a period of negative comments, criticism and abuse provided directly and indirectly to the child by the parent seeking to alienate the other parent’s affection and relationship.’ " Evidence of this custody-evaluating psychologists often rely heavily on are signs of the syndrome in the child, notably: (1) a lack of ambivalence (the child views his or her parents purely as good or evil) , (2) rejection without justification, (3) a rationale for the rejection that does not make sense, (4) a lack of remorse of the rejecting parent, (5) contribution to the problem by the preferred parent, (6) parental support of the child’s denigration of the rejected parent, (7) absence of normal human emotions for the rejected parent, (8) the child’s retelling of the rejection in a rehearsed manner, (9) the child’s need for public denouncement of the rejected parent, (10) the child’s appearance of being forced to choose, (11) the child’s overreaction, and (12) an absence of appropriate anxiety over parental separation.
Parental alienation is considered egregious conduct by the courts and can actually be used as grounds to deny or modify custody or visitation to that alienating parent.
Parental alienation is also an emerging issue in child support cases as well. If a child is being actively alienated from one parent causing a drastic reduction in that parent’s time with the child, you can argue that the child support should be suspended or reduced.

Signs of Parental Alienation

The behavioral signs of parental alienation can be subtle or not-so-subtle and can differ depending on the age and developmental level of the child experiencing the psychosocial effects of parental alienation. These signs of parental alienation can be detected by a parent or other third-party professional. The signs include, but are not limited to: Overt signs of parental alienation This can be as obvious as "bad-mouthing" the other parent to the child. Badgering, belittling and humiliating the other parent is commonly associated with alienation indoctrination and includes making derogatory comments to, about, or in front of the child. Another clear sign of PA includes exhibiting angry/hostile/non-verbal behaviors toward the parent from the child which may take the form of angry/hostile gestures (e.g., dirty looks, rolling one’s eyes, cutting off eye contact), hostile body posture (i.e., turned away from the other parent while sitting in the car together), and angry facial expressions. In more extreme cases, when the child has been severely conditioned against the parent particularly through PAS, we see severe forms of rejection from the child towards the parent which can take the form of extreme hostility, rude verbal insults, or outright acts of defiance towards that parent’s ongoing contact with the child. Subtle signs of parental alienation The more subtle signs are somewhat more difficult to ascertain and may only be interpreted by a trained professional. These signs include: A qualified expert will always consider whether these behaviors are deliberate or malicious or simply developmentally appropriate for that age.

Collecting Evidence for the Court

Demonstrating parental alienation to a family law court in Phoenix, Arizona may appear daunting, however proper evidence is vital, and there are several types of evidence you may use to support your claim. Written communications, witness testimonies and even expert evaluations can all help support a parental alienation case. Written communications: If you believe that your former spouse is engaging in activities that could be considered parental alienation, document the facts quickly. For example, if your ex is changing the way he or she speaks to your child about the court-ordered custody schedule, it is wise to keep track of the dates and nature of these changes right away. These communications will be useful in demonstrating a consistent pattern of behavior to the court. Maintaining a journal that tracks your communications with the other parent can also help support your case. Witness testimonies: If others are aware of your ex’s behavior toward the child, their testimony could potentially help your case. Reach out to family members, friends or teachers who are willing to testify on your behalf as soon as possible after you notice the signs of parental alienation. It’s important to note that these witnesses cannot have an ulterior motive for being involved in the case. Expert evaluations: In some cases, you may want to consider engaging a mental health professional or counselor to speak with both you and your child about the presence of parental alienation. This professional can then write a report about their observations of the child’s behavior and how it could be indicative of parental alienation, which can be submitted to the court. Knowing how to effectively document parental alienation will give you the advantage in moves for reconsideration of prior custody orders and striking future pleadings. Further, while sacrificing your child’s relationship with your former spouse can have negative consequences for your child, shared parenting is generally in the best interest of the child.

Legal Approaches to Proving Alienation

The legal process for presenting a parental alienation case in court can be challenging due to the way the phenomenon manifests in human behavior and the inherent subjectivity involved. However, when properly implemented, there is a path through that challenge to present objective evidence of the phenomenon, and to demonstrate its present and future impact on a child’s best interests.
Your lawyer will prepare written interrogatories to be presented to the alienating parent. Interrogatories (written questions under oath) are a powerful tool. The responses to them are usually interpreted by an experienced family law litigator or are answered by the other parent. In either case, the response to the interrogatories is evidence of the possibility that the alienating parent may be committing abusive behavior against the child in violation of state statute or law. While the attorney for the alienated parent should not make any legal errors in interpreting or responding to the interrogatories, they are asked to describe the parent’s actions or omissions. The interrogatory responses will show the judge and the court what the alienating parent is doing, and allow the litigation counsel to point their finger at the relevant behaviors. Ultimately, however, when presented properly, the pattern of the behaviors begins to reveal themselves, not only during the litigation, but the history is the key to the future based upon the likelihood that the alienating parent will keep doing what he or she is doing so long as he/she is rewarded with their actions of alienation against the other parent.
Collateral sources of evidence include evidence when the alienated parent is scheduled for visitation with the child, and the alienating parent does not allow the visitation to take place. When such a thing occurs, it is evidence that the alienating parent is violating the legal order of the court to permit visitation, and also reveals to the Court why the Court should consider the delinquent parent unfit to be the custodial parent of the minor child or children.
Photos, videos, and audio recordings of the taking place are also important. They do not have to be the "perfect" recording of the exact auditory incident, however, photos, videos, and audio recordings are powerful evidence in the demonstration of alienation. They provide the judge and the court an up-close and personal look at the behaviors of the alienating parent, and it allows a judge to see, hear, and understand that the alienating parent is doing something inappropriate by engaging in behaviors designed to harm the relationship between the alienated parent and the minor child or children.
When there is sufficient evidence being presented of a pattern of behaviors, it is possible to begin bringing into the record the expert testimony of counselors, psychologists, psychiatrists, and physicians. They are hired as paid witnesses to provide the Court with the opinion of the expert as to the state and condition of the minor child, and whether the minor child is experiencing harm from the alienation being perpetrated by the alienating parent. Each witness can provide testimony regarding the effect that the alienation is having on the child, and the witness may be asked whether it is possible that the minor child’s experiences of alienation may result in diagnosis of an actual psychiatric disorder if the behavior of the alienating parent continues into the future.

Expert Witnesses

Expert witnesses will be needed to prove parental alienation in court. As with custody cases, the judge will need testimony from a mental health expert to explain what estrangement and alienation are, how they are identified, and how experts go about determining whether a syndrome is present on a specific case, and to what extent. Experts will also be needed who can explain to the court how to determine if an ongoing relationship with the non-residential parent is clinically in the best interest of the child. The expert in estrangement will perform the same types of evaluations and interviews that she would in a custody case, but with some additions. First, she will need to know whether there were any parental behaviors that may have contributed to the alienation or estrangement and if so, whether they continued after the couple separated or divorced. Second, she will need to know whether the alienation or estrangement was a unilateral or a bi-polar phenomenon. Meaning, has one parent separated the child from the other by refusing visitation or non-cooperation with the other parent’s attempts to see the child, or has parental estrangement or alienation been a system problem? Does the child go to one parent if not taken, whether there is any such thing as a father’s day, does he ever call his mother? etc. The expert in estrangement can also comment on the effect of parental alienation on children. Rather than discuss this here, Dallam will address the harms to children from alienation in a separate article. The estrangement expert will testify about her clinical experience and data base, the development of alienation research over the last several decades, and the importance of researching the children and families who have successfully mended their relationships with their alienated parents. The expert in relational therapy usually has a PhD in in a clinical area such as marriage and family therapy , social work or psychology and frequently, is a clinical psychologist. The therapist expert may also have specialized training and experience in some form of family systems therapy to work with parent-adult child conflict. This expert will need an extensive clinical background in treating alienated children, either alone or with their parents, and experiencing successfully reunifying alienated children with their alienated parents. They will need additional training in relational approaches to treatment, and in child-parent reunification therapy. The relational therapist will testify about her credentials, her fees, and the nature and type of therapy she performed relevant to the issues in the case; i.e., whether therapy addressed alienation and estrangement, the assessment and review of the impact of the estrangement on the child/alienated parent relationship, and the nature of the reunification process and how it occurred. The therapist will also be asked to provide her typical approach to reunifying the child with the targeted parent, as well as any typical reunification goals, how these were developed as part of the therapy process, and her assessment of whether those goals were achieved. If not, the therapist will be asked to explain her reasons for believing that they were not achieved. This expert will also testify about a client’s lack of cooperation with treatment, or violations of the treatment agreement. The therapist will also have the opportunity to testify about her professional observation of the psychodynamics occurring in the family as it relates to the alienation and the strength of the reunification process, and her professional opinion about the outcome of the case.

Legal Action and Remedies

The final step in addressing a claim of parental alienation is establishing it in court. It is rare for cases to go to trial, but if one does then the outcome will depend on the evidence produced both by the moving party and presented in rebuttal. At this point, the attorney for the parent alleging alienation will seek expert testimony from a neutral mental health professional who has seen the child and has examined the issue. Judges are generally skeptical of the opinions of treating mental health professionals because they may be perceived as biased. There are a number of judicially recognized remedies for parental alienation. The Court can order counseling, an exchange of letters, or other remedies that might help to mend the relationship between the child and the alienated parent. If the Court concludes that the alienation is severe and irreparable, it could modify child custody to award the alienated parent sole legal or physical custody. Even in this most extreme of situations, modification is not guaranteed. It is possible that the Court will conclude that the alienation is a temporary and reversible condition and that the better path forward is to maintain the status quo with a plan for reunification therapy.

Preventative Measures Against Alienation

Fortunately, there are proactive steps that parents can take to mitigate or prevent parental alienation. Strategies to keep the lines of communication open with the child and with the opposing parent are critical to allow for informal resolution without being brought to court. Co-parenting and communication efforts between parents should be encouraged if possible. Effective co-parenting will also benefit the children of parents who are not involved in divorce or custody litigation. Parents should discuss which communication method is most effective with the child. Frequent brief telephone calls and text messages are good options to use to stay in contact with the child. Video chats can also be used daily to provide children with the opportunity to see and remain in contact with the parent who is not the primary caretaker. Parents should avoid fighting with each other or making negative comments about each other in front of the children, especially if divorce or custody litigation is pending. If parents do engage in inappropriate behaviors , they should document these occurrences in a journal and work with their attorneys to prevent further incidents from occurring.
If parents believe that they have exposure to parental alienation, they should contact qualified professionals as soon as possible for guidance. An experienced attorney can assist in resolving disputes informally, directing parents toward appropriate therapeutic interventions, or litigating disputes on their behalf. In cases where parenting coordinators are appointed, they should continue to guide parents in the right direction. Evaluators and judges may sometimes offer valuable advice for parents regarding how best to co-parent and communicate with their children and the other parent. The important thing is to not wait until the courts become involved in the dispute before taking action to protect against parental alienation. Parents should not allow fear that child custody litigation might occur to prevent them from seeking help early and often.